My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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