Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
