I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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