Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
