I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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