I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
