I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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