i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
