I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
