Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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