you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
