I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
