apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize