dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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