We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
