We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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