Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
