Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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