What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
