And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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