you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
