Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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