What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
