Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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