lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
