just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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