so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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