I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
