It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize