Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
