Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize