He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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