I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
