We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
