I'm sorry my penis didn't work
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
