You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
