I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
