69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
