my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
