Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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