The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
