We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
