Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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