Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
