She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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