Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am mentally ready for anal.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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