Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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