i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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