If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
