Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
