I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
