You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
