Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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