Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
