You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
