Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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