Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
