Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
