Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
