Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Houston, we have a blender
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
