Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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