saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
