He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're a waste of cheezeits
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
