eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
