so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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