imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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