the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize